September 15, 2012
I’ve been thinking a lot about coupledom lately.
What happens when one half of a couple longs for a thing that the other half is completely indifferent to?
Let’s say the thing in question is Italy.
As in my case.
I learned late, in a halting kind of way, what Anais Nin seems to have known all along: How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
And once I created that world, he sort of liked it. Curiousity waxed. Resistance waned.
Moral: Go out and create the world you want, Sisters!
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The winning name pulled randomly from my coppola for the book EATING IN SICILY is Giulia! Congratulations Giulia, and please send me your mailing address!
Hey Jann, please delete this if you don’t want it posted here, but the blog my daughter-in-law has on food is giving away a free cookbook that some of your readers may be interested in at this link:
http://wanderlustandlipstick.com/blogs/wanderfood/2012/09/17/wanderfood-cookbook-giveaway/
Oh, The World’s Best Street Food!!! Sounds like a great book and I urge anyone who’s reading this to check it out! Thanks for the heads-up, Charlie.
So glad to found your wonderful blog Jann! Love the older couple’s proud smile, it reflects such a pure emotions.
Thank you 🙂
Hi Judit & Corina, Thank you and so glad you found the blog. Welcome!
Such expressive portraits captured beautifully. I once heard that we marry in order to have someone validate our lives. Someone to verify that we’ve been here. Hmmmmmm. I remember reading on your blog long ago that hubs didn’t always share your draw to Italy. Does he go as often as you?
Rosann, hubs may never have the zeal I have for Sicily and Italy, but he is coming around quite nicely!! I can work from anywhere so I can spend much more time in Sicily than he can (though he’s a sculptor with quite a flexible schedule).
A lovely theme this week. Very inspirational. Brava, Jann!
Ciao Anitre–grazie!
Good Morning Jann! Fantastic! You have captured a thousand words, thoughts and dreams in each photo! …and……so very true about your world 🙂 It’s wonderful to start the morning with a post like this! Hope you are enjoying a nice caffe` somewhere fun this morning!
Ciao cara–grazie mille! How did you know about the morning caffe??? 🙂 I’ve been thinking of you!
Jann,
If a look could punch with a force to knock you to the floor, the lady in the white dress, gave you a good one. Those are “And what the hell do you think you are doing”, Sicilian eyes. That is my interpretation and I am sticking to it.
Yes, I too loved the older couple’s photo. It shows the other less stylish, but ever so beautiful people of Sicily.
Vicki
🙂 Nope, Vicki, she was a sweetheart (surrounded by wedding photographers). And the older couple, total strangers, invited me in and gave me a bag of carobs. Why I love Sicily…
Wonderful pictures and wise words. Thank you.
Grazie mille!
Love the pictures as always. Not 100% with the story this time. I think woman have a lot of power over their men, and properly used you can get what you want in most cases. My issue is that if in creating the world you want requires a split in the “better or worse” contract of marriage then I’m not sure it’s proper for the “sisters” to just go for it. I’m extrapolating here, because that’s not entirely what you were saying, and certainly not what you did.
And you are right in that there are a whole bunch of items that we guys are indifferent to and only when you go and do them we go “wow, that’s pretty cool — good idea!”.
Sad for a moment to see I did not win the cookbook. But sadness has ended as I just ordered the cookbook from Amazon, $5 shipped for a used copy. Much cheaper than the flights to Sicily I’ve been looking at this weekend for next May — we’ll have to see if I can hold out 😉 Not that I don’t want to return, but want vs $ needs to be balanced…
Ah, Charlie, sorry you didn’t win the book, but glad you found a copy! Well, you raise kind of a big question about couples…I understand about compromise and all that, but then there’s the question of a burning desire to do something, and do you just give it up if the partner does not have the same zeal for it that you do?
Not looking to debate relationships / marriage, so we can leave it as it stands. But I agree with the three A’s concept. Adultery, Addiction, Abuse. Anything but those is not something you divorce over, it’s something you hammer out in counseling. Particularly when and if there are kids in the equation less than the age of 18. No kids, then it’s more gray, and not strictly black and white.
Still love the site. Pictures, words, etc. All of it.
I hear you Charlie!! Thanks for your thoughts.
Love the older couple, they look so poor and hard working but they seem happy. Would
Love to know their story. Your photos are so special. I could write a story but the pics tell their own story.
Thanks Jann
Yes, you can see the love & kindness in their eyes.
So charming, those halves making a whole. And man, that older guy must love that T-shirt almost as much as his lady, dontcha think?
Thanks, Sandra.
I love that the girl in the first and last photos looks like she is from Jersey, or from “Grease”! So happy that you created your own dream and your husband was won over!
Ha ha, Sandee–yeah, she’d fit right into “Grease.” xxxxxxxx
Dear Jann, You have such a great way on intertwining the personal and the local….As usual your photos are worth a thousand words! So clever. We’re a little bit on the same page right now. I’ve been playing around with a post entitled ‘Italy and the single girl’….Similar idea in a way, but coming at it from other extreme. Have a lovely September Sunday. Jxx
Can’t wait to see your “Italy and the single girl” post, Janine! Happy Sunday back to you. xxxxxx
Mostly I am happy steering my own ship, but sometimes when it gets hard and usually in the midst of confusion, I just want to hand it over for someone to do it for me. Thank you for sharing.
Yes, Kym, sometimes it’s very tempting to hand the ship over, or just sink it altogether!! Welcome to the blog and thanks for your comment.
How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm.
Plath
Thanks for the lovely quote Dennis.
B R I L L I A N T.
Love the first photo & then the last w/ his hand on his head!
Do you ask people if you can photograph them? how fabulous. do they always say yes?
I adore Nin. I have some of her journals. She’s almost as fascinating as Plath.
Love flowing to you, dearest beautiful Jann. x
Kim, Sicilians LOVE to be photographed (for the most part). I either ask, or snap the photo if it’s a moment I want to capture, and ask afterwards. It’s a rare thing for Sicilians to say no. xxxxxxxxx