Mr. No Money

October 5, 2010

I meet Mister No Money on the streets of Giarratana—a small town known for its big onions—under a canopy of goose-down clouds. He doffs his hat and blinks eyes round and red as sun-dried tomatoes. “I am Giuseppe Scarso. In Sicilian my name means No Money.” His face cracks open into a bright smile. “And I really have no money!”

Nomen est omen.

His pal is Mister Happy (Signor Felice).

Two Sicilian Men Against Pink Wall, copyright Jann Huizenga

Mister No Money & Mister Happy

My plumber is Mister Horse (Cavallo); my neighbor Ms. Painted Eyes (Occhipinti); my ex-landlord Hector the Onion (Ettore Cippola); my hunky banker Mister Love (Amore).

Names lifted from some fairy tale.

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Carrubbi carrubbi

September 29, 2010

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The carob

Carob pod, Southeast Sicily, copyright Jann HuizengaThe carob tree

Carob Tree in Southeast Sicily, copyright Jann HuizengaThe carob farmer

Carob Farmers in Southeast Sicily, copyright Jann Huizenga

The carob harvest

Harvesting Carobs in Southeast Sicily, copyright Jann Huizenga

The farmer whacks at the tree with a long cane stick, and the fruit comes raining down. His wife presses a sackful on us. “Take it to America.”

Carobs, loaded with protein, are what kept Sicilians in this area alive during WWII. Locals ate so many that they couldn’t look at them for decades. But carobs are making a big comeback in the form of carob gelato, carob pasta, carob cake. Bite into them raw! Chewy and earthy, aren’t they?

Before we leave, the farmer says, “What’s the name of your president?”

“Obama.”

“Ah, si” he says. “Do you want to exchange him for ours? We will have Obama and you take Berlusconi.”

Thank you for the kind offer, we say, declining, and bid them addio.

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Eating Seabiscuit in Sicily

September 24 , 2010

My butcher’s selling something new, something grim.  It looks disturbingly like  Seabiscuit.

Ad for horse meat in Sicily, copyright Jann Huizenga

I feel alone, among strangers.

Nearby Catania, the city under Etna, has long feasted on horse. They grill it over red-hot coals, and turn it into a great big horse-burger.

Do you believe in following local customs when you’re in foreign lands?

I’m repulsed, but curious.

Should I? Would you?

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Restoring a Damp House in Sicily, Part 14

September 21, 2010

Spotted in a Sicilian antique store: Baroque armoire of honeyed rosewood. Curlicues. Cornices. Roomy shelves. Way out of my range.

I keep going back. Just looking, I say, petting the piece. The price drops. But still…

Bellissimo,” rasps the bleached antiquaria, pulling on a cigarette like it’s oxygen itself. “One of a kind. From the villa of a barone.”

I imagine it in its former life, surrounded by Chinese porcelain, bibelots on the mantle, gilt-framed mirrors, Persian carpets, embroideries heavy with tassels. I fork over a wad of euro-cash, and she stubs out her cigarette and says two delivery guys will be on the job posthaste. And won’t it be absolutely gorgeous in my salone.

I don’t have the heart to admit it’s going in my bagno, bathroom, just steps from a toilet.

My buzzer goes off and two rosewood-laden guys heave into the house. My joy sinks a notch when I see her, the antique dealer, imperiously bringing up the rear.

I point toward the bathroom. When she sees how I’m violating Sicilian protocol, she exhales a puff of black smoke, utters a curse, and waves her cigarette around.

Later, I wipe out the centuries of baronial grime, fill it with my plebian doodads, and sweep up her long trail of ash.

Sicilian Baroque Armoire, copyright Jann Huizenga

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For all of you who love Stromboli, or the Aeolian Islands, or Sicily, or Italy–would you help save a gorgeous (earthquake-damaged) church on Stomboli by signing a petition?  It’s the project of one of Baroque Sicily’s readers, Beatrice Ughi. Signatures can only be collected until the end September. The link is in Italian, but it’s simple: go to the 3 long, thin boxes at the bottom and put in your name, email address, and the verification code. Mille grazie!

http://iluoghidelcuore.it/san_bartolomeo-stromboli-isole_eolie

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Black Fun in Sicily

September 17, 2010

“Can I take your picture?” I ask the phalanx of guys warming themselves in the sun.

“Sure,” says the baby-faced man in the foreground. “But hurry up. We’re all on our way to the cemetery.”

Ragusan Men Sitting on the Piazza, copyright Jann Huizenga

That’s Sicilians for you. Curious dark humor.

History’s to blame. Tyranny. Plague. War. Famine. Earthquake. Poverty. Excellent cadavers. Having survived all that, you’d be telling black jokes, too.

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For some more black Sicilian humor, read Camilleri (if you like mysteries), or Pirandello’s “The Oil Jar and Other Stories” (see my review here), or see the wonderful (long) Taviani Brothers’ film Kaos (Chaos), based on four of Pirandello’s short stories. The village scenes in Kaos were filmed in my town!

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